It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World or Chaos in the Halls of Hogwarts
by Consistent Pessimist
Summary: This is a crossover of Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Supernatural, Merlin, and the Avengers. It only let me choose 2 categories. Basically characters from those tv-shows (and movies and books) get turned into 11 year olds and get sorted at Hogwarts, which can only lead to chaos. I though the title was fitting.


**Disclaimer: I don not own Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Sherlock, Merlin, or the Avengers.**

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It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World

or Chaos is the Halls of Hogwarts

In the entrance hall of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry stood a group of children (and one adult), dressed in odd clothes. Among them were two hunters, a few angels (including one archangel), a demon who was currently the king of Hell, the actual devil, a consulting detective, his partner (John Watson and not in that way), a consulting criminal, king Arthur, his servant, his wife, the avengers, Loki, an alien called 'the Doctor' (In his 11th form), an alien called 'the Master', Amy and Rory Pond (sorry, Williams), River Song (Archeologist), Donna Noble, Captain Jack Harkness, Martha Jones, Rose Tyler, and a very, very confused Professor McGonagall. They all appeared to be eleven years old, except Professor McGonagall. The group of children had just appeared (well actually they appeared approximately five minutes ago and had been arguing since) out of thin air, all at the same time, and all from different universes. So far this had been blamed on angels, demons, aliens, magic, hallucinogenic drugs, and certain individuals in the group. After a few more minutes of arguing (if you can call it that; it was more like shouting over everyone else and threatening to kill them as loud as you could) a loud commanding voice quieted them all. This was, of course, Professor McGonagall.

"Now, I don't know how all you got in, but if you're here, it might mean that you have magic. Do any of you have wands?"

The reactions ranged from disbelief and laughter, to acceptance, to simply ignoring the situation. However all of the children searched their pockets and all of them found a rather unusual stick of wood.

"That settles it then." Professor McGonagall said. "You will all be sorted just as the other first years, who will arrive soon. I will add you to the list. Now, forma line and tell me your name."

The children all complied and after a few minutes of exasperation only a few were left off the list. McGonagall simply refused to put down the Doctor's, the Masters, and Lucifer's name. After a few more minutes of debate McGonagall gave up and wrote down the names of the three. She was getting too old to deal with this. She thought to herself.

Meanwhile the group had introduced themselves to each other, and briefly described what universe they came from. Captain Jack managed to somehow flirt with every single one of them (After each time the doctor had yelled "Stop it!", and Jack had relied that he was only saying hello. The Doctor also nearly fainted when Jack had met River. That should have never happened). When the Master had met James Moriarty they instantly began plotting, and soon both Crowley, Lucifer, and Loki joined them. Sherlock was refusing to acknowledge that this was real, Arthur, Merlin, and Guinevere stood off to the side marveling at the others, Natasha was giving death glares to everyone, Gabriel had disappeared off to somewhere, and Cas was standing around looking like a lost puppy.

Finally the knocking on the door quieted them all. McGonagall gave them all a look that said clearly, say quiet or else… and, nobody wanting to test what would happen, everyone stayed quiet as she opened the door. What followed was a quiet conversation that they didn't hear and then the doors opened to reveal a small horde of children all wearing black robes. McGonagall led them to the others. Upon seeing the strange group whispers broke out immediately. Admittedly they were a strange group. Their clothing ranged from medieval, to plaid, to trench coats, to suspenders and bow ties. It seems like when they were turned into children their clothes had shrunk to fit them.

McGonagall quieted the now rather large group of children and told them to stay where they were while she went to talk to Dumbledore. Unfortunately for her the group contained both Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter, as well as the others. This meant the hall wasn't quiet for long. All it took was one remark from Malfoy to start a who fight between everyone.

Back in the great hall the rest of the students listened to the fight going on outside, trying to piece together what was happening. Fred and George Weasley had ever tried to sneak off to see what was going on but they were caught. McGonagall and Dumbledore were talking, and eventually all the teachers joined in. Finally it was decided that the sorting would commence as usual, including the sorting of the weird group. McGonagall nodded slightly and went to retrieve the first years.

"Form a line. Come on now. No pushing."

She led them into the great hall and immediately it filled with whispers. Everyone was staring at the oddly dressed students but they soon quieted down as the hat began to sing. (see Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, by J. K. Rowling for the song.)

When it had finished McGonagall began to call up students. When Harry Potter's name was called everyone whispered and when he was sorted into Gryffindor they cheered louder than for anyone else. Soon all that was left was their group. Professor McGonagall started calling them up alphabetically too.

The first to go was "Banner, Bruce". He walked over to the chair and put the hat on his head.

 _My, my, the thoughts in here! You are a smart one! And the rage too. Hmm… but I think, yes, better be_ "RAVENCLAW!" It shouted and Bruce, relieved, took off the hat and sat down at the cheering table.

The next to go was "Barton, Clint" who sat under the hat for a while before it decided to send him to "HUFFLEPUFF"

After him was "Emrys, Merlin". Merlin sat down with the hat on his head.

 _Oh, you have incredible magical powers!  
Are you talking in my head?_

 _Yes, but I've never seen anyone like you before. Your skill with magic is unparalleled. You are extremely loyal to him aren't you. But brave too. Hmm.,, I think_ "GRYFFINDOR" the hat shouted.

"Harkness, Jack" was sorted into Slytherin after a minute of debating (and possibly flirting) with the hat.

However "Holmes, Sherlock" sat under the hat for a full two minutes before turning to McGonagall and asking what was supposed to happen.

"You've got to let me in boy!" It said.

Everyone gasped. Never in the history of Hogwarts had someone been able to resist the hat getting into their head.

"Oh, so that's what that was." Sherlock said calmly. "No, I'm not letting you in."

Everyone gasped once more.

"How do you expect me to sort you, if I cant access your mind?" The hat asked him, out loud.

"In that case I'll sort myself."

Another gasp.

"I think Ravenclaw is suitable for me." He said and took the hat off his head before sitting down at the Ravenclaw table.

Despite this the sorting continues and "Jones, Martha" was next. She was sorted into Ravenclaw as well.

Before the hat even touched "Moriarty, James"'s head it shouted out "SLYTHERIN! SLYTHERIN! DEFINITELY SLYTHERIN!" With a smirk he sat down at the Slytherin table.

Soon "Noble, Donna" became a Gryffindor and "Odinson, Loki" a Slytherin. He was followed by his brother (adopted!) who was sorted as a Gryffindor.

"Pendragon, Arthur" and his wife "Pendragon, Guinevere" were also sorted into Gryffindor. When it was "Rogers, Steve" turn he became a Gryffindor in a few seconds.

"Romanoff, Natasha" sat under the hat for a long while, looking more and more annoyed as the time went on. Finally she was sorted into "SLYTHERIN"

Nobody was sure what happened when "Song, River" sat under the hat, as it began to say Gryffindor but was cut off (presumably by a threat) and soon River was sorted into "SLYTHERIN"

"Stark, Tony" was almost sorted into Ravenclaw but at the last minute his arrogance got him a place at the Gryffindor table.

"Tyler, Rose" was the first "HUFFLEPUFF" in a long while and was followed by "Watson, John" who went to "GRYFFINDOR"

"Williams, Amy" and "Williams, Rory" both went to "HUFFLEPUFF" and "Winchester, Dean" and "Winchester, Sam" to "GRYFFINDOR"

After these the only ones left were the weird ones who had either refused to give a last name, or in the case of the Doctor and the Master a name at all.

Grudgingly she called out "Balthazar" and "Castiel" who became a "SLYTHERIN" and a "HUFFLEPUFF" respectively.

When it was "Crowley"'s turn he sat under the hat and had a pleasant conversation with it before it told him that he was a "SLYTHERIN"

"Gabriel" was surprisingly sorted into "HUFFLEPUFF" and joined his younger brother at the table.

When the name "Lucifer" whispers filled the hall again. Suddenly the sorting hat cried out:

"NO! I REFUSE TO SORT YOU! YOU… YOU ARE THE LITERAL DEVIL! THERE IS NO WAY I AM SORTING YOU INTO ANY OF THESE HOUSES!"

With that proclamation Lucifer sighed and said. "I'm never appreciated! Fine, I'll just go sit at one of these tables shall I!" and he plopped himself down at the Ravenclaw table defiantly.

McGonagall sighed, it was better to just get this over with.

"The Doctor" she called.

He bounded up the steps and put the hat on. It sat on his head for a mere three seconds before it started wailing.

"HOW IS THERE SO MUCH DEATH IN HERE! SO MUCH LOSS! HOW DO YOU BEAR IT! HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF!"

The Doctor took off the hat quietly and sat down next to River at the Slytherin table, who hugged him.

Without even waiting for his name the Master walked to the hat, that was still in hysterics and put it on.

 _Hello._ He said to it. _I am the Master. Can you hear the Drums?_

The four beats repeated themselves over and over and the hat, completely losing it's mind shouted:  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU! YOU AREN'T EVEN HUMAN! YOU HAVE CAUSED SO MUCH PAIN AND HAVE SEEN SO MUCH PAIN! OH, THE DRUMS NEVER STOP. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR! ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR! ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!"

It continued repeating the rhythm even as it was taken off the Masters head and carried away to Dumbledore's office. The Master sat down next to the Doctor and River and faced the front.

The room was silent for a whole minute. It seemed like no one knew what to say. Nobody could believe what had just happened. Finally Dumbledore stood up and said:

"This is certainly going to be an interesting year."

And the whole room exploded.

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 **A/N: so yeah, I don't know why I wrote this but I did , and I hope you enjoyed it.**


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